Balance Is a Lie: Why High-Performing Women Need a New Way to Live and Lead

My clients ask me all the time:“How do I balance it all—home, work, health?”

And it’s a fair question.

But here’s my honest answer, you might want to write this one down:

Balance is a lie.

By definition, balance means:“An even distribution of weight enabling someone or something to remain steady and upright.”

Even distribution.

Equal weight.

Perfectly steady.

But let me ask you,

When has your life ever looked like that?

Exactly.

Because life isn’t evenly distributed.

It’s not symmetrical.

It’s not steady.

It’s dynamic.

It expands.

It contracts.

And that’s a really exciting and beautiful thing!!

Yet we have bought into the lie..

That if we just...

• Managed our time better

• Optimized our calendars

• Woke up earlier

• Worked harder

…everything would finally fall into place.

But that’s a mathematical formula.

And we are living a human life.

The Moment That Changed Everything for Me

When I originally took my role at Google, my daughters were two and a half and one year old.

And I remember saying in my interview:“I can work 9–5, of course do the travel, but my kids will always come first. I am a mom before it all”

And for a long time, it worked, and I was doing it.

I showed up for the big moments.

The recitals.

The birthdays.

The milestones.

I told myself, look at me…I’ve figured out this "having it all thing" and "balancing it all!"

Fast forward 13 years.

I was driving my 16-year-old to the doctor when she said something that stopped me cold.

“This is weird.”

I asked, “Why?”

She said,“Dad takes us to the doctor.”

I laughed and said, “No I do.”

And she looked at me and said,“No. Dad does.”

And in that moment, it hit me.

I had made the big moments.

But the small, ordinary, unglamorous ones?

Work had quietly claimed those.

Balance hadn’t failed me all at once.

It had eroded—slowly, quietly, over time.

The Truth About Balance

Balance implies equal weight.

But life doesn’t move in equal weight.

Some seasons are:

• Career-heavy

• Family-heavy

• Survival-heavy

And that’s not failure—that’s life.

The goal is not equal distribution.

The goal is intentional alignment.

A Better Way: Energy Over Balance

Instead of asking:“How do I balance everything?”

Start asking:“Where is my energy going—and is it aligned with what matters most?”

Because when your energy is off, everything feels off.

But when your energy is aligned?

Everything changes.

The Shift That Changes Everything

You don’t need to do more.

You need to carry less.

Start here:

1. Audit Your Energy

What is draining you?

What is fueling you?

Be honest.

2. Abandon What No Longer Serves You

Outdated expectations.

Old definitions of success.

Things you said yes to in a different season.

If it’s not aligned anymore, it doesn’t belong in this season.

3. Release the Pressure

If you told yourself you were going to run a marathon, but work explodes, and your ailing parents need you, just be honest with yourself, this isn’t the season for it.

So, sis if it’s not the season, it's not the season. And that is OK!

Let those expectations of yourself go, revisit them in the future, but keeping the pressure on will not serve you. I promise.

4. Choose What You Carry

The scale doesn’t balance if you keep adding more.

At some point, you have to take things off.

Aligned women don’t try to do everything.

They choose what matters—and protect it.

The Freedom on the Other Side

When you stop chasing perfect balance…and start protecting your energy…

You stop feeling like you’re failing.

You start feeling like you’re living.

Not perfectly.

Not evenly.

Not symmetrically.

But intentionally.

And there are few things more powerful than that.

Final Thought

You get to choose. You are personally in charge of your own life design. End Stop!

You get to choose

What you carry.

What you release.

What matters in this season of your life.

So, please by all means, stop chasing balance.

And start building a Big Energy life that actually fits.