The Invisible Thread: The Clues to Your Purpose May Already Be There
What do you want to do next?
It sounds like such a simple question.
But when you’re in the middle of a career change, becoming an empty nester, reinventing yourself, or even just feeling that little tug that there might be something more for you, it can feel like a REALLY big question.
We put so much pressure on ourselves to figure it out. Especially when our official path and runway run out - mid-life is a scary place.
We work so hard to finally retire, get to choose us, what we do next, free from “the man” and when we finally get there it is overwhelming to say the least.
What’s my purpose? What am I supposed to be doing? What will make me happy? What’s next now that I get to choose?
It should feel luxurious but its hard and confusing and lets be honest even scary to leave the well worn road and head onto the unbeaten path…
And most of the time, we look forward for the answer.
But what if some of the best clues about where you’re going are actually behind you?
The Invisible Thread
If you looked at my career via my formal resume, or LinkedIn account, it might seem like I’ve done a lot of very different things. A real “Jane of all trades.”
I started in the advertising agency world where I did a 12 or so year stint living all over the continental United States working in client services, brand planning, new business development and even leading a national 40 city, 10,000 attendee test drive event.
I was a stay at home mama for 2.4 years. I spent 13 years at Google leading a huge piece of business where I exited as a Director who had helped build and scale a 200 person $2B business from the group. I went to the Hudson Insititue of coaching, coached thousands of hours, got PCC certified by the ICF and became an executive coach. Then an author. A speaker. A podcaster. And on:)
Different jobs. Different industries. Different chapters.
In my own eyes without reflection it DID seem all over the place. But when I really dug into self-reflection, I realized that hindsight is 20-20 and now realize it does not, in fact, feel disconnected at all.
There was, and is, always one big beautiful invisible thread running through almost
everything I’ve done:
Experience creation.
I am in the business, personally and professionally, of experience creation.
Whether I’m in your ear through my podcast or audiobook, you’re holding my book in your hands, I’m standing on a stage in front of you, or we’re sitting together one-on-one in a coaching session, I want to create an inspiring experience for you.
I want you to leave better than you came.
I want you to see something in yourself that maybe you couldn’t see before.
And most of all, I want you to walk away believing that anything is possible for you.
Like you personally could run through a brick wall to follow your WHY!
THAT is my invisible thread.
It took me a while to see it because I was looking at the obvious things: companies, jobs, titles, accomplishments.
The thread was underneath all of that.
So What’s Yours?
This is where it gets interesting.
When I coach someone who says, “I have no idea what I want to do next,” I don't always start by asking them to look forward.
Sometimes I ask them to look back.
Think about different chapters of your life. Not just jobs. Think about projects, relationships, hobbies, volunteer work, things you did when you were younger.
When did you feel really energized?
What were you doing when you felt most like yourself?
What do people consistently come to you for?
What have you always been drawn to, even when nobody was paying you to do it?
And then go deeper.
Don’t just write down what you were doing.
Ask yourself why you loved doing it.
That's the part we sometimes miss.
For me, “I love coaching” isn't deep enough. WHY do I love coaching?
Because I love creating an experience that changes something for another person.
Now we're getting somewhere.
Your Energy Has Been Leaving You Clues
This is actually something I explore in Bring Your Big Energy.
In the Self-Reflection part of my SPARK process, I talk about taking stock of where you are and where you've been before you start dreaming about what comes next. And later in that work, I ask you to identify your Ignitors, the experiences, connections and activities that genuinely light you up and put you into that feeling of flow.
There’s a reason I put Self-Reflection before Purpose.
We want to jump straight to:
What should I DO?
But sometimes we need to understand ourselves before we can answer that.
Your energy is always giving you information in real-time, we just need to tap into it, listen to it.
The things that have consistently lit you up throughout your life are worth paying attention to.
They may be breadcrumbs leading you toward your invisible thread.
Try This
Take ten minutes and write down three to five moments from completely different chapters of your life when you felt energized, proud, useful, excited or just really YOU.
For each one, ask yourself:
What was I doing?
What did I love about it?
What came naturally to me?
What was I giving to someone else?
Why did that moment matter to me?
Now step back.
What keeps showing up? Are there patterns and themes that are starting to stand out to you?
Don't try to turn it into a job title yet, just look for the common denominator.
The thing underneath the things. That keeps showing up for you….
THAT is your invisible thread.
Look Back to Move Forward
One of the things I love most about this exercise is that it takes some of the pressure off.
You don't need to figure out the rest of your life today.
You don't need the perfect five-year plan.
And you certainly don't need to throw away everything you've done and reinvent yourself from scratch.
Maybe your next chapter is actually an evolution of something that has been inside you for years.
In Bring Your Big Energy, I describe Purpose as something that gives our lives meaning and direction, but I also make an important point: purpose isn't set in stone. It continues to evolve as we do.
I think that's why looking for the invisible thread can be so powerful.
You're not trying to predict your future.
You're collecting clues from your own life and asking:
What could this look like next?
And If You Can't See the Thread Yet...
Sometimes it is REALLY hard to see the pattern when you're standing in the middle of your own life.
That's where coaching can be incredibly powerful.
You bring me all the pieces. Where you've been. What you're great at. What's draining you.
What's lighting you up. The crazy idea you haven't said out loud yet. The thing you know you don't want anymore, even if you have no idea what you want instead.
And together, we start connecting the dots.
I won't tell you what your next chapter should be.
I'll help you hear yourself more clearly, see the patterns you might be too close to see, and turn those insights into action.
So if you're sitting there thinking, Okay Stacey, I know there's something next for me, but I cannot figure out what the heck it is...
That's exactly the kind of work I love.
Let’s find your invisible thread together.
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